Trixie-so beautiful, her sparkling , expressive eyes-so memorizing!

Trixie-having fun in her "rattle -ball" pool!

Trixie with her best buddy, Ralph! The clownfish squeaky toy a favorite of them both!

Almost one year ago, on March 25th, I lost my beloved gorgeous sable girl Trixie at just 3 years of age, after a 3 month battle with lymphoma.
What a spitfire Trixie was-fearless, and always the first to investigate and check out anything new. Her "brother" Ralph would hang back and watch. I could read his mind--"let her check it out first, and ...if it doesn't hurt her, then it is safe for me"! I don't mean to imply that Ralph is squeamish or timid, just that his personality is different--laid back and easy goin!
Lymphoma is not a curable disease, and the options for treatment are limited. Chemotherapy is available, but not curative--the goal is to achieve remission. The therapy itself would be difficult, and stressful for her. I felt that she would not understand what was happening, and did not want to put her little body through the Intravenous Chemo Meds, bloodwork, and expose her to all the potential side effects they would entail.
My other option. which I choose, was high dose palliative Prednisone-with herbal support. The goal was the same-remission, but with the knowledge that when the disease returned, it would so with a vengeance, and the Prednisone would no longer be as effective.
After much thought, and with the advice of her caring and gentle vet, I felt that choosing this course of Treatment was in HER best interests. I opted for QUALITY, not QUANTITY, of life.
My Trixie responded well to the Prednisone at first, and achieved remission. Her lymph nodes went down, her eyes were bright and expressive. She was happy, joyful, dooking and dancing with her best buddy, Ralph! She ate well, and brought into her "Mom's" life great joy and love.
We spent many hours together. Although she ate well, she no longer wanted her kibble. I made her her "soupie" about every 4-5 hours around the clock. It was just chicken baby food with crushed kibble-to which I added her herbal supplements. Essiac and Pau D'Arco are noted to be helpful in treating lymphoma in many articles. She LOVED her "soupie", and began to realize that the "ding" of the microwave meant that warm "soupie" was on the way! She would be waiting for me, eyes bright and full of expression. Onto my shoulder she would go, and I loved the soft feel of her fur against my face as we "Hugged"! Most times she would eat the soupie on her own. Sometimes I hand fed her with a spoon. We had such a good time together, and although this placed added pressure on my daily schedule, -I would have gladly have continued this forever. OH--I wish I could have.
I believe Trixie fought as hard as she did, and patiently took all her treatments without complaint, because of her love for me.
This is NOT to imply that she did not let her feelings be known!
She did NOT like Prednisone at all. Even flavored, it has a bitter taste, and I can't say that I blamed her at all.
Although she took it without any struggle, she would "scrunch" up her face, and "squint shut" her beautiful eyes! Her eyes and face, so full of expression-clearly said, "It's alright Mom, I understand you are doing this to help me, but geez--this stuff just tastes AWFUL"!
After her medicine and soupie-often she would fall asleep in my arms, or on my lap. I can still smell the wonderful popcorn aroma she had!
Trixie achieved remission for three beautiful months. They were good months-the underlying sadness was there, but Trixies joy of life was evident, and therefore I find it easier to focus on those good times.
The "good times" lasted literally until the last day! She stopped eating, even the soupie, and began having difficulty breathing. She was anxious, and I believe in pain. She didn't want to be left alone.
She spent her last night with me on my bed, and I did my best to make her comfortable. It was clear however, that she was becoming increasingly more distressed. Her big, beautiful brown eyes-so expressive and full of life and love, now told me she was so very tired, and that she was in pain.
I took her to my wonderful vet--so kind and supportive. He told me what I feared. There was nothing more that could be done! She might live a few more days, but they would be full of pain, anxiety, fear, and discomfort. She had fluid in her lungs, and it would increase-making it harder and harder for her to breathe. She also started bleeding rectally-first black, then bright red blood in her stool.
I made the terrible decision no ferret hoomin wants to make, -I had to let her go, let her have her wings! I couldn't and wouldn't let her suffer--she was so tired. She fought so hard!
I held her, and she licked ferretone-her favorite treat, from my hand as the vet gently gave her the injection. She didn't seem to feel it. She licked and licked my hand--and slowly and peacefully drifted off.
I told her what a good girl she was, she was my BEST GIRL, she did everything RIGHT, and I would love her forever. I told her about the Rainbow Bridge, and how she would again be healthy and happy. Her sister, Blossom, I told her, would be there--and they would soon be dancing and dooking -the best of friends.
Trixie kept her beautiful brown eyes open the whole time, for me I think, because she knew how much I loved them. It was so hard....and the tears fell uncontrolled and freely.

This would seem to be the end of my story, but there is more.

I need to say that I do BELIEVE that the Rainbow Bridge exists in some way, and that our beloved pets wait for us there, because for me, there would be no heaven without them!
The day AFTER Trixies death, exhausted, upset, and missing her terribly-I decided to lay down to try and take a nap.
I remember drifting off, then opening my eyes. There, right next to me was Trixie! She was laying down next to me on the bed-like she often did. Her coat was shiny and full, the shaved areas done for bloodwork were gone. She just radiated peace, health, love and joy!
She looked directly at me, into my eyes. Her bottomless brown eyes were shining and full of meaning. I felt her physical presence, like I could touch her...
Looking at me she "told" me that she was doing fine, and that she no longer had any pain. She "told" me that she missed me, and Ralph, but that she was ok. She loved me, and understood that I let her go because I loved her so much. With those eyes-so clear and bright and sparkling-she thanked me, and told me she would wait for me.
I don't know how long this event lasted, but I do know that it was very REAL!
My beautiful sweetie pie, my Trixie, had come back to let me KNOW I WOULD see her again!
This, by far, is the greatest gift of love I could have ever imagined or received.
Thank you Trixie!

Your Mom loves you, and misses you , each and every day. Ralphie, sends you his love, and bestest fuzzy hugs! Give Blossom a hug for me.
Fly High my special girl!

Priscilla Gabrielle
Ralph's Mom
Missing Blossom and Trixie at the Rainbow Bridge